Seeds of Doubt

Have you ever had seeds of doubt planted into your life?
How did it happen?

I think being an extroverted people pleaser whose primary love language is words of affirmation, I am often like soil ready to be harvested with weeds..
I can remember as a child being taunted for my pale skin and I would repeat the old nursery rhyme, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me."
Funny the things we say sometimes...
Oh how I wanted to believe that was true, but their words hurt...
and they planted seeds of doubt (at that point it was regarding my outward appearance).
My dad did give me the greatest answer when I asked him at the age of 6 what an albino was.  He asked why I wanted to know so I told him.  He said, "Why, you are not an albino! God made you special but he made people who are albinos even more special - he gave them pink eyes, you have blue eyes.  So, you tell those kids that you are not an albino, but if you were, that would mean God just made you extra special!"  I know - I have an awesome dad right?

My God is faithful and He has protected me and my simple mind from falling prey to what the evil one wants to do with those seeds (or weeds)....

Sometimes He enabled me to take those seeds of doubt in the gifts He had given me to push me to success.  Being a blonde girl from the Appalachian Mountains of Eastern Kentucky I had many stereotypes going against me.  Yet, those general thoughts and my strength through Christ pushed me to get my PharmD at 22.  I must get that from my dad. :)  He said he always wanted to be an astronaut (most boys did at that time I think).  While in high school they took a test to see what type of job they'd be good at and he was told, "You can be anything you want except an engineer."  What do you think he became?  Yep!  An engineer.  :)

However, there are other times when the words prey on me and I feel almost incapable of moving. Today was one of those days.  I cried myself to sleep (at noon). The words weren't even said today; yet, they still linger in my mind.  Every time I didn't know something or couldn't say it, their words repeated over and over like being hit by endless waves in the ocean.

Storms.

I've been reading through Matthew and as always He is faithful to remind me of truth.

When Peter got out of the boat - great faith right?  Yet, quickly he notices the storm around him and doubt doesn't creep in it jumps in and he begins to sink!

Ever felt like you were sinking or drowning?

What happened though?  Did Jesus (even in that time of Peter doubting) just let him continue to sink?  NO!!!  Peter cried out, "Lord, save me!"  Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of Him.  He did ask, "Oh you of little faith, why did you doubt?"

Why do we?

A few chapters past that God speaks audibly and they are crippled with fear.  Now I have often wished to hear God's voice audibly BUT it would probably scare me too.  In Chapter 17, God the Father audibly says, "Listen to Him."  Simple - listen to Him.  LISTEN TO HIM.  Who?  Your human nature that tells you that you can't or incapable?  The evil one using words you've heard to plant seeds of doubt?  NOOOO - To HIM!

The great I AM

"I AM the bread of life
I AM the light of the world
Before Abraham was I AM
I AM the door
I AM the good shepherd
I AM the resurrection and the life
I AM the way, the truth and the life
I AM the true vine"

AND "IF you abide in ME - you will bear MUCH fruit. Apart from ME, YOU can do NOTHING."

Those seeds of doubt planted by others (or possibly yourself) - are they true?  I don't know. Does it matter?  If Abiding in Him, it doesn't matter.  We can do all things through HIM.  Not because of our abilities or our knowledge but because He created it ALL, He knows ALL and is ALL powerful. His will is good and His timing is perfect.  He will carry on His work in you (and me) until completion. So Press on and Trust in His faithfulness.

If seeds of doubt have been planted in your life - Stop looking at the storm and listening to the wind and waves.  Start looking at the Great I am and trusting in His ability to do whatever He wants through you.  (Talking to myself here just as much as you). ;)