The playground funeral

Ahhh...the first cultural blunder that we are aware of making...
We thought it was a mahjong tournament (a very popular game played here).

There were many tables with adults surrounding them playing mahjong, what looked like celebrations, money sitting about, bright colors....

However,
It was Not a tournament.
Nor a celebration.
It was a funeral.
Yes, on the playground.

The blunder - well, we really weren't supposed to be outside laughing and playing around the area; however, we were told by a local friend that it wasn't too bad as we can play the "white card."

Yep, the "white card."
We are foreigners, so we can do stupid things that break cultural norms.
Of course, this is not what we desire to be doing.
However, it is relieving to know we still have that card in our pocket so as to not completely offend all our neighbors for these types of things.

Our local friends explained some of the beliefs behind what was happening here.
You may want to get a cup of coffee and sit for a bit as I try and reconstruct how we understand this...

My mind is swirling thinking through it all...
My heart is aching knowing the struggles that exist
My eyes are opened a bit to the difficulty the people here face to follow.
Caught between two worlds are those who want to believe...


The bright yellow "tents" are known here as "spirit houses." Yellow is considered the color for the dead, so they are always this color. Inside, on the back wall is a picture of the person who passed away. In front of that picture is a table with food on it for the deceased which is kept for 3 days (here in the city), surrounded by burning incense.  They believe it is through the aroma of the food that they are fed. Sometimes the body is kept there as well, but in this instance it was not.

The big flower rings are for each grandchild, and is a letter from them to the deceased.

Interestingly, they too hold the number seven as being highly spiritual.  There used to be traditions/beliefs that for the first 7 days you did one thing, then the next 7 days something else for 49 days after the death.  Although, city life and work has changed some of this.  We have been told that out in villages they may still hold to the old tradition of 49 days or have variations in what they believe happens afterward.   

Traditionally they were supposed to outwardly mourn the death throughout the 49 days: no smiling or showing joy.  However, now people have become busy with work and are tired of the monetary obligation that is involved in such an lengthy process, most have shortened this ritual to 3 days.  Even still, the entire 3 days someone stays in the spirit house and must stay awake.  

Whether 3 days or 49 days - they must stay awake to keep the soul company or guard it as they wait for "the black man and white man" (who represent judgment) to come with big hooks and jerk the soul out of the body for judgment.   

You may want to read that again.  It took me a few times to process this.

This explains so much of the fear that exists.  

The 49th day is thought to be the end of the judgment days (yes, days as they have several to determine their level of hell,.... see below). At that time every deed done while alive is judged. Yet, they believe while living that good deeds cancel their bad deeds. 

This explains the difficulty in believing one has a need for forgiveness.

Another burdensome thought for me is that they believe all go to the underworld (translated literally to "shady place").  One friend here said all go to "hell."  I do believe there are two separate words (characters) for these two but it may be a similar idea.  Only, they don't see it as a bad place (as everyone goes there).  Those who believe in reincarnation believe it is like a purgatory.  Others believe the soul stays there.  There are 18 levels in the underworld.  The higher the level, the better it is.  The spirit moves back and forth on levels based on how much good they do while there and how much they can bribe the officials (done through burnt offerings by their living family members).  

Bribes from the living to the officials in the underworld?  

Yes.

They have this paper money that they burn (picture below).  Can you read the back of the "money"? It says, "Hellbanknote."  

Burning the money is believed to take it to the underworld so that the souls can either buy things or can be used as bribes for the officials to get their ancestor better treatment (or a higher level which means a better afterlife).  The family often writes notes on the money.  The notes are either to their ancestors asking how they are or to the officials - asking for better treatment for their ancestor's afterlife.  This is their form of one way communication.

They do believe there is a way for two way communication. If the family would like to get in touch with their ancestor they visit a fortune teller who becomes "possessed" by the spirit of the ancestor. Then the ancestor can interact with them.  

Yes, admittedly, my mind quickly questions, "How can people possibly believe this is real?"  

Then I am reminded how quickly their minds may be equally questioning, "How do we really believe a virgin had a baby that was the one true G who loved us enough to die for us, rise from the dead and desire a personal relationship with us so we can one day be in paradise with Him?"  

It changes my perspective on how I will approach talking about two destinations and clearly points to my need to intercede fervently for the Spirit to go before me.  

It helps me understand more about the difficulty one faces even if they are drawn nearer.  As the well being of the dead is believed to be heavily influenced by how much the living send to them - through the burning of money or other items.  

Other items?

These are paper shoes that are bought and burned so that the ancestor may have shoes.  There are also paper houses and cars so that they can have those in the underworld. We have also heard that, in the country, real tangible houses and cars and other items are burned for this same reason. 

Another difficulty - when adults believe but their parents don't.  

A Korean friend shared how this happened in her family.  That she and her husband believe but her father did not.  He told them how he hated JC because he took his son and now his daughter and no one will take care of him in the afterlife.  Although he heard truth many times, he died without believing.  Yes, there is heartache in her eyes.  Yet, she is still filled and at peace knowing that the relationship she has is fulfilling and eternal.  

Another story...

A young mother who wants to believe.

Says she is 90% there, but doesn't want to upset her mother.  It is this young mom's responsibility to take care of her mother in the afterlife by burning these things and "providing" for her mom.

The young mom desires for her son to know and believe because she doesn't really believes he needs to burn things once she is dead.  

Yet, she is emotionally torn by where she stands in her relationship with J and the need to "care" for her mother after death.  

This was heavy for me, still is.  

Typical right (at least for me)?  Trying to carry all the burden, but that isn't necessary.  

His burden is light.  

I've chosen to go to Him, and talk to plead with Him about it, in desperation.  

Asking for power, transforming power in their lives,

for workers,

for words to be given,

for the harvest,

for life everlasting.