Mommy guilt: Summer is Gone

Summer has gone WAY too fast!

As we started the summer I had all these ideas of how we'd "get it all done" AND have time for our kids...

I realize THAT is where I went wrong...

The order, MY priorities, wrong order.

Martha? Yes, most days I am definitely a "Martha."

Get it done then rest and enjoy the blessings He has given me.

But when does it ever REALLY "get done."

When oh when is the laundry ever really "done"?

The dishes "done"?

The picking up (much less the cleaning)...when is it "done"?
Language study - pretty sure that will never be "done" either...

Two weeks before the kids' school started that guilt was overwhelming.

The guilt of having not spent enough time with my precious children.
That punch you in the gut, dagger through your heart kind of guilt...

We took a couple days off those last two weeks to focus on them.

However, the rest seemed lost..

As I looked back at pictures though, I could see how my sinful flesh was using my desire to be supermom to pull me down.
How even my kids can sometimes know what buttons to push to make me feel this way.
Now don't get me wrong, some of their words and some of those thoughts are justified.
I certainly can't win the "mom of the year" award and have certainly not been 100% glorifying to the Lord in my thoughts, attitudes or tones in which I have addressed my kids.
Does my grace seem to run out? - YES!
Does my mercy sometimes vanish - YES!

Allowing it to weigh me down into self pity - that is the part which is not ok.
Getting to the point where I feel I've failed.
Not OK.
(Another part of the problem - thinking I can do it, I can do it all).
The father of lies hard at work folks.
He is prowling around looking for someone to devour and for a few weeks, he could see my weaknesses and was holding me down under them.

BUT my God is bigger, my God is stronger, my God is Higher than ANY other.
My God is my shelter, my refuge.
From Him ALONE do I have strength.
Through Him ALONE is parenting, living, breathing, serving, learning - through Him AlONE is it possible.

While sometimes I think technology can be the root of evil in our home, today I am thankful for the technology of photography.
Pictures revealed - we have had some fun moments this summer.
We have taken time (always could shut the computers and give them more time, but definitely hadn't failed as my heart and mind were feeling).

Some fun times we've had...
We visited a cool street "Wide and Narrow" where we saw a cheap version of the Sichuan opera. Also took some cool 3D pics.
Aili is trying to play the part in each of these - my little drama queen. :)

One night the kids got a great surprise from Daddy - roasting marshmallows!  Yummy!

 Fort building - they each had their own "bedrooms" in there. :)

A bake sale with friends (thankful for a sweet friend who helped the girls with the baking).
Every child needs to do them right?
Even if it is totally strange for kids to do such things here.
Of course, being foreigners and selling sweet cakes and kool-aid on a playground is great marketing, however weird it might have been for the nationals. :)

 More fort building.

 Learning to make our own tortillas - fun, easy and tasty.  Although there must certainly be some other way to make them pretty and round. :)

 Mei had fun rolling the dough for them.  I haven't been able to find a small rolling pin here - only seen the giant wooden ones, so yes, she is using a glass. :)

 Dress up and play time in boxes. Boxes, by the way,  are the best toys EVER!

After cooking homemade playdough on the stovetop then adding food coloring, Meisi asked, "Can we eat it now?"  ;)  I can completely see how that is confusing. :)

Aili growing her baking skills - red velvet cake - from scratch! Delish!

Praising the Lord for photos to prove to my eyes the lies my flesh and my enemy were telling me. 

 "Get behind me satan!" 

All is not lost. 

We've had a good summer.  

Was I as attuned as I should've been to my kids (not to mention my hubby)?

No. No, I wasn't.  

Thankfully, the Lord has more mercy and grace than I could fathom.  

Thankfully He isn't done with me yet.

I am a work in progress and because of His unending love He keeps working on me, refining me, loving me. 

Have you ever felt like "Martha?" 

"Martha Martha," the Lord said, "You are worried, anxious and troubled about many things. But one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42

Father, thank you for your love, your precious unending, unconditional love.  Thank you for your grace by which I am saved and your mercy that you pour out to me every day.  Please help me to daily chose the good portion, soaking in your words, laying my anxieties, troubles and busy schedule at your feet, seeking you first in all things. Please help me look to you alone for my joy and let it be poured out onto my family continually.  Please forgive me for not living this out daily already.  Thank you Father for your love, your never stopping, never giving up, never ending love.  In Jesus's perfect name I pray, Amen.

Happy Valley. A Day in an Amusement Park...

When you think of a day in an amusement park - what comes to mind?
I imagine a fairly relaxed day, laughing out loud, navigating the park with relative ease utilizing a handy dandy map explaining rides and height restrictions....

But this day was a little different.
We absolutely did have some smiles and giggles, there were some moments of relaxation, and we enjoyed some of the surroundings.

What this day really gave me was a greater understanding of how I was spoiled.
Florida's amusement parks spoiled us (the maps, the ability to plan...).
And I realized the lack of empathy I have had in the past for those who don't speak English at amusement parks in the states; new perspective and much empathy was born inside me this day.
I also clearly realized we still need to learn a vast amount of language for basic survival here. :)

We went to a park translated to, "Happy Valley."

This is the map.  Since there were none to carry along with us, we took a close up. 

Unfortunately, our hanzi (Chinese character) reading isn't that good yet. :)  

Each map had a wonderful English translation of,... just the heading. Nothing else had an English translation. There were many rides inside buildings.  I'm pretty certain if we were literate in Chinese we could've figured out what they were, but not being so, we didn't venture onto any indoor rides.

The Lord blessed us with stunning blue sky on this incredibly warm day.
One of our kids favorite places was the "Naughy Castle."  haha
Pretty sure they meant "Naughty." :)  It was an indoor playground with a/c. Woohoo!!

Inside the park we saw the coolest KFC we've seen so far. :)
We didn't eat there but thought it was neat (we had McDonalds instead). ;)

After lunch we went to the water park.

Did I mention it was a super hot day? 

Cold water felt fantastic!

Ian was pretty disappointed that he was too small for most of the slides.  

Although, he did really enjoy the wave pool. :) 

The kids have to be 1.4 meters tall to ride most of the slides (even on the kiddie slide area). 

  

Funny story... The lifeguard told me I couldn't go into the wave pool because I wasn't wearing a swimsuit.  I was.  It is just a very modest swimsuit (rash guard with board/swim shorts).  I told him I was wearing my swim suit.  He said, "Really?"  I found this funny as many kids were in the pool with no swimsuit (yes, just their birthday suit). haha!  

We were surprised how the kiddie slide area looked almost exactly like the one at Legoland Florida.

Cool hair on our toothless little man. :)
I  have no idea how he can do that and not drink the water (which is truly unwise with all the naked kids in this place). lol

What better snack after a hard day of play?

Cotton candy!  We asked if they'd like some - "of course we would!"  

How may? Well 3 of course!

Wow!! Who knew they were going to be so big and beautiful! :)

No complaints from these kiddos though (other than it is hot outside). :) 

 Sugar, plus sweat = a mess. :)
A cute mess, but a mess nonetheless. :)

 There were some impressive rides here but our kids were too small to ride most.

However, learning to shoot machine guns - absolutely big enough to do. :) 

Letting 4 year olds shoot cannons - SURE! :)
She is saying, "YES!"  as she hit the target.

The end of the day I saw this 4D theater that said, "Ant Theater, 4D,"  with a cute little Bug's Life like cartoon ant on the sign.

I thought, "GREAT!  It will probably be like the ant 4D show at Animal Kingdom!"

Haha....truly an illiterate-in-Chinese parent fail.

Again, being literate in the language of your host country is important!!!

It was a 4D movie but not about animated ants.

Nope.

Full on science fiction.  

Kind of a Transformers meets Godzilla movie, with monster blood squirting...

My kids were not happy. :(  

So, as we tried to end on a positive note, they got to drive their own transformer.  It was great fun! You can find fun things like these a lot of places here.

We were thankful for our day off language to spend with the kids.  Much needed amidst the mommy guilt I have had this summer for studying too much and enjoying them too little. 

For my friends who are local or visiting...

Would I recommend Happy Valley?

Sure!  

Just prepare yourself for the locker room to the water park (no changing stalls, just dress and undress wherever there is space). Males and females were separated, but a different experience nonetheless (especially as people had their phones out). 

Likewise, prepare your kids for the height restrictions and take a national friend along to tell you what all those rides were inside buildings.  Pretty sure we might've missed some cool stuff. That just gives us something to do next time though right?  

4th of July Party

American food?

Strange foreign American culture?

Wanna come party?  

Of course!!

We celebrated July 4th here with many new friends.  A few American families got together and worked hard to put on a 4th themed party.  We made sure there were plenty of red, white and blue foods and decorations.  Pinterest boards were formed and attempted to become reality. Even made a fruit tray that looked like our flag.

And our friends here told us how beautiful it all was, and noticed each detail.
NOT!!
Our friends later told us they didn't see ANY of this.  Not the decorations, not the red, white and blue (what do those colors mean anyway?). haha  One friend asked why we cut the watermelon in such small pieces?  When I told her it was shaped like our flag she didn't believe me.  I showed her the picture and she laughed and laughed.  So, I thought I'd ask others.  None that I asked realized its shape or the colors of the jello, the tablecloth, why the craft was colored the way it was.  Many told us the plates were too pretty to eat on and the napkins too nice to use.

I was reminded how our pinterest crazed lives in America totally misses the point here.  Just like Mrs. M told us at SWI... it is all about the relationship - not the presentation.

A friend said we should've just put fruit in a bowl and bought some cookies at the store, it would've had the same affect.
Lesson learned...
Will I still decorate?
Probably, just not this much.
Will I worry so much about how it turns out or if everything looks perfect.
NO!!

Things that were a big hit - tattoos!!

 This is the line for the tattoos.

There were so many new and good friends who came out.

Actually, every single person invited except one came and she told us she wouldn't make it. 

(How often does that happen?)

We weren't expecting that crowd.

However, thankful for each of the 72 people in our house.  

Yes, 72.  15 of us foreigners included.

They LOVE singing.

We sang some in our language, some in theirs.

We decided to leave out Lee Greenwood this year. :)

 One of my favorite moments- these precious girls dancing while we sing about His love for us, because our favorite book told us so.

We also helped the kids make necklaces and played picture bingo.  Everyone seemed to really have fun. 

They did enjoy the food even if they didn't realize its significance, shape or color. :) 

I tried to explain that the bread was for the hot dogs, but they just nodded and ate the dog by itself.    

Leftovers?... nada. :)

So thankful for new friends.

Thankful we can learn what is good and what isn't at each party/event we have.  

Thankful for the curiosity in how we do things.

Thankful for the desire to build relationship.  

Thankful for wood floors. ;)  

AND for good friends who help clean up after the crowd is gone. :)  

I wish I'd taken a picture of the shoes... 

Wow!  72 pairs of shoes at our door.

Next time.  

Looking forward to next time.

My favorite day in Lanta

There are days I miss Florida.  I see the pictures of friends at the pool or the beach and I long to be there.  I don't think it is a bad thing unless I linger there too long.

On our last visa run we went to Koh Lanta, Thailand.  It was amazing!  Exactly what our hearts and minds needed.  Now, when I miss home, I can look at this pictures and thank Him for allowing refreshment.  I still look at pictures of "home" too, but these pictures remind me that my joy should come from Him alone.  Not a person or a place.  Reminds me that I can have joy anywhere as long as I am in His will.  It isn't always easy, but He is faithful and provides all our needs. :)

Honestly, reentry to the big red country was pretty tough after this trip.  We hear it is fairly normal for the 6-9 month time period to be the roughest for "culture shock" and I'd say we are feeling it. Even our kids, maybe especially one child. The "honeymoon phase" is over. We are thankful for the refreshment He gave us in our week away, and even more so as we realized where we are on the culture shock spectrum.

I share these photos as many have asked if there was much to do on Koh Lanta during low season.  It is low season due to monsoon season.  Surprisingly (and thankfully),  it only rained one evening.

This was my favorite day, a long day but absolutely fantastic!  Kayaking the lovely sea, kayaking through a cave, feeding monkeys, riding in the longtail boat, so much fun!  Mostly we enjoyed being outside together, exploring this beautiful place. As you flip through though, I hope you take time to praise Him who created all things.  I immediately think of "How can I keep from singing your praise, how can I ever say enough, how amazing is your love!"